


Unfocused

by dragonesdepapel



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Catra (She-Ra) Redemption, F/F, Memory Alteration
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:08:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22979650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonesdepapel/pseuds/dragonesdepapel
Summary: “Adora, you are not making any sense. You had a nightmare, let me go and come back to bed.”Shadow Weaver attempted to erase Adora's memories of She-Ra, but everything went wrong when she got interrumpted by Glimmer's escape. Adora is placed in a deep slumber while she tries to restore her mind, but the princesses break into the Horde once more to retrieve her. Now awake and struggling with two different sets of memories, Adora leaves to find the only person she can trust: Catra.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 132





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *presses post so I'll stop tinkering with it*

_ Adora struggled against her bindings, but they didn’t give an inch. She felt them burn against her skin, but that didn’t make her movements any less frenetic. Shadow Weaver’s hands were getting closer and closer, and Adora couldn’t do anything to get away. _

_ Somewhere outside of her field of vision Glimmer was screaming. _

“No!” Adora yelled. This time there was nothing stopping her from sitting upright.

Something next to her moved, and Adora kicked and wriggled away from its grasp. The surface she was laying on disappeared from under her, and she fell to the ground. She kept scuttling backwards until her back hit a wall.

A figure appeared in front of her, and Adora put her hands in front of her to stop them.

“Adora, calm down.”

Adora darted her eyes around the room, trying to figure out  an escape route.

“Adora!”

The person in front of her grabbed her hands, attempting to put them down. Adora responded by yanking them forward. Her opponent lost their balance, and Adora pushed them, trapping them between the wall and her body. Through her panic fueled state, Adora managed to recognize them as  Catra .

“Adora,”  Catra said, out of breath, “no one is trying to hurt you.”

“Where’s Shadow Weaver?”

Catra blinked. “I don’t know. Do you  need to talk to her right now?”

“What have you done with Glimmer?” she pressed harder against Catra.

“Who? Adora, you are not making any sense. You had a nightmare, let me go and come back to bed.”

Adora laughed. “Back to bed? What kind of games are you playing? You think I’m going to what, ignore everything that happened?”

“Adora, nothing happened. You were asleep, then you woke up and started acting like this.”

Adora shook her head. But there was something there, at the back of her consciousness, pushing her to accepts  Catra’s words. She tried to recall what she was so frightened about, the situation she had been in mere seconds ago. But there was a cloud over it now. The circumstances were blurring in her mind, the sense of urgency was fading. Perhaps  Catra was right, perhaps it had it all been a dream.

“A nightmare?”

Catra giggled. It wasn’t the cold laugh she had gotten so used to hearing lately, but the snickering one that she had grown up with. “Yes, you dumb face, a nightmare. Can we please go back to sleep now?”

She gently removed Adora’s arms from where they were pinning her to the wall. To Adora’s utter surprise, she let her. Without waiting for an answer, Catra moved past her and got into bed. Instead of curling up at the end of it like she usually did, she lay down on one side.

After a few seconds she raised her head, looking at Adora. “So? What are you waiting for?”

After a second of hesitation, Adora sat down next to  Catra . She wanted to believe that she could just close her eyes, go to sleep, and that everything would sort itself out by the time she woke up again. But she knew that wasn’t how things worked. She needed answers. She needed to make sense of what was happening. The memories might be fading, but she still knew what she had gone through.

“Answer the question Catra, where’s Glimmer? Is she still being held captive? What has Shadow Weaver done to her?”

Catra frowned. “Adora I don’t know what you are talking about.” Adora tried to talk again, but  Catra took her face in her hands, and Adora was too stunned to react. “I know what’s going on. You are too stressed about the inspection tomorrow. Listen, we have everything under control. Shadow Weaver thinks everything you do is perfect, and even  Hordak has to admit that we are the best force captains he has ever had. Nothing bad will happen.”

None of those words made any sense to Adora. Or maybe they did. Her thoughts flickered and trembled, none of them strong enough to take hold on her mind.

“But Glimmer. The princesses. Bow. The rebellion,” she tried.

“What about them? We are winning the war. Our efforts have made the Horde stronger than ever.”

Catra was speaking in soft, soothing tones that didn’t belong in her mouth without an edge of sarcasm underneath. One of  Catra’s thumbs was drawing lazy circles on Adora’s cheek. It all jarred on her, but felt perfectly normal at the same time.

Adora closed her eyes and pressed her palms against them, shaking  Catra’s hands away in the process.

She tried to concentrate on what she knew. She had been in the Black Garnet’s  room; Shadow Weaver had been talking about something...something bad...something about making Adora come back to the Horde. What why would she need to do that? Adora had never left. Had her? And why had she gone into the chamber in the first place? Glimmer, she was trying to rescue Glimmer...a princess. But Adora wasn’t friends with princesses. Nothing made sense. And  Catra ... didn’t  Catra hate her?

Except she didn’t.

She opened her eyes.  Catra was looking at her, waiting for her to make the next move. Why did she feel like they were supposed to be enemies?  Catra was the best thing she had. They did everything together. She was being so patient with her now, even though Adora had basically attacked her... Slowly, Adora picked up the hand Catra wasn’t using to prop herself upright. She squeezed it gently and Catra squeezed back.

“You are being way weirder than usual, you know that, right?”

Adora didn’t answer. 

“Are you ready to sleep?”

She didn't understand what was happening, why her head was a chaos of images and feelings, but Adora was too tired to figure it out now. Her body was aching for her to close her eyes and forget about it all. She lay down, resting her head on the pillow. Catra got closer to her, pressing her legs against hers. Adora kept her eyes firmly on her.

Catra reached forward, brushing a strand of hair away from Adora’s eyes.

“Get some rest, Adora.”

Adora maintained eye contact with her for a few more seconds, then closed her eyes.  Catra’s fingers kept going through her hair. After a few minutes, Adora felt her body start to relax. This was how it was meant to be, right? With her on  Catra’s arms.  Catra was  right, everything was ok.

So why couldn’t she believe it?


	2. Chapter 2

_Look at you, all useless and_ _pathetic_ _._

“Did you say something?” 

Catra looked up from the report she was reading. “No.” 

Adora shrugged. She took her place next to Catra on the bed. She undid her ponytail and tied it up again. She sat with her back resting the headboard, waiting for Catra to be ready. 

With a sigh, Catra left the file on the bedside table before taking off her headpiece and leaving it next to it. She pushed her hair back with impatience. 

“Everything alright?” 

“Yeah,” Catra said. “We’ll need to address the Force Captain stationed at Thaymor tomorrow. They keep wasting resources and I’m tired of dealing with them.” 

Adora smoothed down the irritation lines on Catra’s forehead. "What about this? I talk to them, and you supervise the new cadets’ training.” 

Catra grabbed her hand, interlocking their fingers, and used it to pull Adora forward. “Deal,” she said before kissing her. “Now, let’s sleep, _please._ I can’t believe Hordak had us running all those useless errands all day.” 

“They weren’t useless...” she tried to say, but Catra stopped her with a look. “Ok, yeah, they sucked,” she relented. “But someone has to take care of the little things in order for everything else to work.” 

Catra groaned, sinking into the bed. “Yeah, yeah, I know, spare me the motivational speech please.” 

Adora patted her on the head before turning off the lights. As soon as she lay down, Catra grabbed her by the waist and hid her face on Adora's back. 

“Goodnight,” Adora said. 

“Night.” 

_I can’t believe I ever wasted any time on you._

“What was...” Adora said, half turning to look behind her, but Catra was already fast asleep.

* * *

She charged forward. As she expected, Catra jumped to the side to avoid her, so she made an abrupt turn and attacked. Catra managed to block her, but Adora kept sending her blow after blow, forcing Catra to give ground. 

_Adora, hang on, we are getting you out of here._

It was only a second, but it gave Catra all the advantage she needed. She kicked her legs, sending Adora to the ground. Catra hit her on the chest before she could recover, making her training gear turn red. 

“And that’s how you disarm an opponent.” 

The cadets gathered around them clapped, and Catra extended her arm to help Adora up. 

Later, while Adora was taking off her chest plate, Catra got close to her. 

“What happened? You got distracted out there,” she whispered, looking around to make sure they were alone. 

Adora waved her hand, unconcerned. “I thought I heard something.” 

Catra frowned, but decided to leave it alone. “Well, c’mon slowpoke, I’m starving and I don’t want to have to eat brown bars because of you.” 

* * *

_Adora, wake up! Adora!_

She looked behind her, but there was no one on the corridor behind her. Weird. 

She turned around again, and tried taking a step forward, but there was someone blocking her way. 

“Hey Adora,” Catra said, leaning forward to kiss her. 

“Catra,” Adora laughed, “you know we can’t do that in front of the troops.” 

Undeterred, Catra put her arms around her waist. “I don’t see any troops here.” 

Adora let herself be pulled in. Her hands quickly found themselves on Catra’s hair. 

Suddenly, it was all over. Catra swiftly stepped away from her grasp, and instead stood beside her, a look of mock seriousness in her face. Adora was about to protest when she heard footsteps coming. She only had a few seconds to turn her expression into something appropiate. She hoped Catra hadn’t made a mess of her clothes. 

The squad nodded as they passed them, and Adora nodded back. They didn’t notice the way Catra’s tail was still wrapped around her wrist behind her back. 

As soon as they were gone, Catra broke down into giggles. “Your face, you looked so offended.” 

Adora tried hard not to smile. “You are terrible.” 

“Maybe that’s why you like me so much.” 

Adora pretended to think about it for a few seconds. “Nah, that can’t be it,” she said before giving Catra a quick peck on the lips and running away. 

* * *

She didn’t need to open her eyes to know that she wasn’t supposed to be awake yet. Sleepily, she stretched her arms in front of her, searching for Catra, but they came up empty. Alarm bells went off in her head. 

She opened her eyes and sat up, hands already flying up, ready to defend herself if necessary.

She wasn’t in her room. A woman with dark hair and a purple gown was looking at her with concern. 

“Adora?” 

A new person appeared next to her.

“Glimmer?” The word got out of Adora's mouth before she could really think about it or what it meant. 

“Adora!” Glimmer threw herself at Adora’s arms, but Adora jumped off the bed before she could reach her. 

Adora started walking backwards, trying to figure out an escape plan. There were more people in the room, getting past all of them would be hard.

“Adora?” Glimmer approached her slowly. “What’s going on? You remember me, right?” 

“Stay back! I don’t know who you are or how you got me here but just, stay back!” 

She tried to ready herself for a fight, but she could barely keep herself upright. Her head was pounding, and her vision blurred. 

“What did you do to me?” 

“Adora, please calm down, we are your friends.” 

Adora shook her head, which made the pain worse. Her eyes darted around, trying to understand what she was seeing, but it was all too much. Her head was a mess of images and memories. She knew this place; she had been in it before. She knew these people. But she couldn’t make sense of it. 

She was so focused on trying to untangle her thoughts that she didn’t notice Glimmer getting closer. 

“No one will hurt you here,” Glimmer said, gently taking Adora’s hand. 

Adora let her lead her back to the bed. If they wanted to treat her like a friend, she could play along for now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, I'm in love with the idea of Adora and Catra as co-force captains, basically running the place while Hordak does whatever he does in his lab. Like 10/10 perfect setting, except for the fact that you know, the Horde is evil and all that. Is there a fic like this out there? If there is, I need it.


	3. Chapter 3

Glimmer, Bow, the Princess Alliance. The information was there, at the surface of her mind, but if she tried to concentrate on it, to purposely bring the memories forward, her mind went into overdrive. It hurt.

“What have you done to me?”

“We didn’t do anything to you. We just found you and got you here,” said Glimmer.

Adora shook her head. “These memories, they aren’t mine.”

“But they are, Adora. What’s the last thing you remember?”

Adora knew the answer already. “ Catra and I...” she trailed off, because the memory now felt as unreachable as everything else. “ Catra and I,” she tried again, “making our way back to the barracks after...” A second image appeared on her mind. Catra, face unreadable as Adora struggled against her bindings. She grabbed her head with her hands, willing it to go away. “No, there’s no way. Catra would never do that.”

Glimmer reached for her hand, and Adora felt too exhausted to fight her. “She was there when Shadow Weaver tried to erase your memories.”

“Shadow Weaver?”

The name unblocked a new wave of sensations. Her hands on her face, the shadow she had cast over her, the need to escape.

Glimmer held tighter onto her hand. “I’m so sorry Adora, I couldn’t stop her. She did something to your mind, that’s why everything is so confusing right now.”

Adora looked at Glimmer, the echo of her screams resonating on Adora’s ears. “You were being held prisoner.”

She nodded. “I was. You and the other  princesses broke into the Fright Zone to get me and Bow out.”

Bow approached them, taking Adora’s other hand in his. “You got me out of my cell, then told me and the others to get out. You let yourself be captured and brought to Shadow Weaver.”

The prison. Lonnie, Rogelio. They had fought them, hadn’t them?

“She said she was going to make you forget ever leaving the Fright Zone. I managed to break free and knock her out but-” tears started falling from Glimmer’s eyes. “It was too late, you wouldn’t wake up and I had to leave and- and I left you there, I just left you there.” Glimmer broke down into sobs, hiding her face on Adora’s shoulder. It made her uncomfortable, but not enough to pull back.

It felt wrong, everything they were saying. The familiar way they were holding her, like she needed to be protected. It wasn’t right. This wasn’t her home, these weren’t her friends.

But that wasn’t the only thing that was distressing her. Because despite how wrong it felt, it also felt...right. Natural. It wasn’t just the flurry of memories that backed up what they were saying, but the certainty, no matter how much she wanted to deny it, that she did belong with them.

It made her want to scream. All of it. Her headache, her thoughts, the tug of war that was taking place inside her. 

Bow took Glimmer in his arms. “But we went back and got you again! And now you are here, with us, and everything will be ok!” 

“Ok!?” Adora exploded. “You tampered with my memories! You took me from my home! Nothing about this is ok! Nothing about this makes sense! The Horde is right. The Rebellion is a sickness, you people will stop at nothing to destroy Etheria.”

“It wasn’t us! We told you, Shadow Weaver-”

Despite her growing headache, Adora managed a laugh. “Shadow Weaver? You mean my mentor? The woman who has taken care of me since I was a baby? You mean to tell me that she would do something like this to me?”

Bow closed his mouth, clearly at a loss for words.

Adora was getting tired of this. She felt sick, she could barely keep herself together enough to understand this conversation.

“What do you want from me?” she said.

Castaspella stepped forward. Adora’s mind supplied her with more useless images: Mystacor, the beach, a red knitted sweater.

“I can feel the sorcery taking hold over you, but it’s corrupted, and I can’t undo it. While you were at the Horde, they put you in a magical slumber. Probably to prevent you from experiencing the side  effects you are right feeling now.”

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

“We think we know how to heal your mind.”

She motioned for someone to come forward and one of the guards got closer. She was carrying a sword. A sharp pain exploded behind Adora’s eyes, making her fall to the ground.

She heard people calling her name, and hands came to rest on her shoulders.

“Take it away!” She screamed, shutting her eyes tight.

There was more movement around her, but Adora focused on staying still until the pain got more manageable. Finally, she was able to sit cross legged on the floor and glare at the people  around her.

“What was that?”

Glimmer looked worriedly at her. “That was your sword, you need to transform into-”

“I’m not getting anywhere near that thing again!”

Glimmer turned to Bow for answers, like he could somehow get Adora to change her mind.

“The sword was probably the first thing Shadow Weaver would want gone from her memory, so it makes sense she would have such a strong reaction to it. But I’m sure that if she just...”

“Listen, I don’t know what you think you are playing at,” Adora said, finally losing her patience, “but you need to let me go right now. When  Catra finds out I’m here she’ll stop at nothing to get me back.”

That got them to look down in worry, and Adora knew that it meant she was right. Their lies were finally crumbling around them.

“Adora...” Glimmer started, but one look from Bow stopped her.

“What?” Adora snapped, impatient for this whole farce to end.

Glimmer hesitated, but then went on. “ Catra and you aren’t friends anymore.”

That got  a honest laugh out of her. “Excuse me?”

Bow glared at Glimmer, but her face softened when he looked back at Adora. She recognized the pity in his eyes, and it made her see red. Who did these people think they were?

“You left the Horde, and she stayed. She hasn’t forgiven you for that.”

She tried to think about the  Catra she knew. The way she’d curl up next to her in bed, how she always knew how to calm her down, her purr when she was happy. But what she got instead was the force of her glare, the mean edge to her voice, the sinking of claws on her skin. Her hand rose up to rub at her cheek like it had a mind of its own. She remembered facing her mirror as she slowly cleaned the wound: three deep parallel lines that ran down to her chin.

Had she and Catra really been there? On the outskirts of Thaymor. Adora had looked up at her as Catra threatened to zap her again.

“That’s not...” That same pity was reflected on every face looking at her. “THAT’S NOT TRUE!” she yelled, unable to take it anymore.

“Adora-” Glimmer said, reaching out, but Adora took a step back.

“No! Leave me alone. If you really are my friends then just leave me, now!”

Bow and Glimmer exchanged a look, and then gestured for everyone to leave the room. They were the last ones to leave, pausing at the door.

“We know it’s a lot, but we promise we are on your side. We’ll bring you some food later. Get some rest, ok?”

Adora didn’t answer and they left.

She sat down on the bed, tears quickly making an appearance. Everything was wrong. She could feel it. From the tips of her fingers to the top of her head, her body was rejecting whatever had happened to her. She couldn’t deny that what they said made sense, that one part of her believed them.

But that was exactly the problem. She felt split down the middle, each side battling the other. She couldn’t set her mind on any specific memory without having it taken over by a different, opposite one. Her time at the Horde, her time at the Rebellion- it all felt like a lie.

Who was she?

She couldn’t trust Bow and Glimmer, no matter how friendly they seemed. She had no guarantee they weren’t the ones who had actually done this to her. It certainly made much more sense than her deserting the Horde and joining the princesses. But then again, why did she feel such a connection to them?

She dried her tears with the back of her hand and got up. She couldn’t stay  here, it was the enemy’s territory. She knew what she had to do. There was only one person she could really trust, only one person who had never let her down, who could never hurt her.

She had to find Catra. That would set things right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Nny11](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nny11/pseuds/Nny11) was a huge help in betaing this chapter, and their fics are amazing so you should totally go ahead and check them out if you haven't yet.
> 
> Honestly I'm just glad this fic prevents The Promise from ever happening because can you imagine having to make Adora remember that????? My heart is weak and I could not be able to handle it.


End file.
